it scares me to try most times because i hate the feeling that what i do wont be good enough. of course, just as any person has felt, i know what it is like to not have anything accepted and to be put in a competition with yourself. its funny to feel like you cant beat yourself, your metaphorical self of everything you want to be and achieve and somehow how you see yourself kicking you down with knowledge of failure. the person you see, has already accomplished everything you wanted to when you wanted to the way you wanted to and made everything perfect. and the person you are is reality, a whole lot of less than.
i have this long rope with a loop on the end and i’m throwing it at my metaphorical wonderful self trying to catch her by the neck and force some kind self love making session or something to have an integration go on. i’m done with hiding in the shadows waiting for things to happen coz i’ve been afraid to run. but dammit i have these great ass legs and i need to get out of this wheelchair.
